Thursday, October 9, 2014


It's my baby's senior year in high school.  As I made his breakfast and then his lunch today, I realized in a year...I will have more free time in the mornings.

My life is rife with the possibility of changes...not just the boy, but other things as well.  It's too soon to give voice to any of them yet. But they are there.  Looming? Promising?  Teasing?

As I move through the dance that makes up my day-to-day life, I catch myself thinking "if this change comes to pass, I won't be doing this anymore." Sometimes that's a good thought. Sometimes it is melancholy.

I am finding that this makes me more aware of the joy that comes from living in the moment.  At least sometimes.  To be aware and cherish those moments that I so often let pass without note.  Because this is just what happens everyday...until it isn't.

I don't mean that I am holding on to these things, these moments, because I am afraid I'll lose them.  It's because I want to fully experience what is set before me.

Passages, part I

July 27, 2014

Tonight, for the last time, I hung my son's Wing's baseball jerseys to dry. No more worries about whether the numbers will melt (they will) if we put them in the dryer.  No more worries about stains in the Southland more worries about Wings uniforms at all, because he won't play for Wings ever again.

It has been a tumultuous, grand five years.  He has learned a lot, and I have made some wonderful friends. Baseball moms and dads - we share a love of the game that transcends our children...but not by much.

So I am sad. Change is hard for me, and emotional, even when it's good. I understand it's inevitable.  I understand the picture is more than I can see, more than I can comprehend.  I am along for the ride.

And a beautiful ride it is.